I AM STARTING THIS LIFE’S JOURNEY BECAUSE MY CHILDREN HAVE ASKED ME TO.
I found an outline from the church that tells how to do this. Write on one subject each week for a year. So here goes!!!!!!
My name is Paulene Fay Miller. My parents gave me this name because they thought I was going to be a boy and they hadn’t thought of any girl’s names. They wanted to name their boy PAUL. So when I turned out to be their second girl, they just added ‘ine’ on the end of Paul. Then when the doctor filled out the birth certificate, he was drunk and spelled it PAULENE. Now I have a younger brother named Paul, so I guess you could say I was named after my younger brother. Quite a feat if you ask me.
I was born on March 7, 1941. I was thought to be born the December before, but Mom must have gotten her dates mixed up. My dad got tired of waiting and at the time the mid-wife nurse came he was ice skating in a pond in Fairchild’s corn field. We didn’t go to hospitals at that time to have babies. We had them at home. I was born at 1908 Fairview Avenue in Berwick, Pennsylvania. We lived with my grandmother Mary Gower Miller on the homestead Grandpa Miller (Amos Rapheal Miller) built. Grandma Miller was crippled and in a wheelchair from arthritis and bone trouble. Her bones were frozen in the shape of a chair, and she couldn’t move. My dad was the youngest of 4 kids from them and so he had to stay and take care of her. The homestead was old and no paint on it. There was a kitchen, living room and 2 bedrooms on the second floor. We couldn’t get Grandma up the closed stairway, so her bedroom was the living room. We had an old coal stove in the kitchen and that was our heat. In the winter the wind blew through our bedroom and the chamber pot under the bed was frozen stiff every morning. We had an old 3 seated outhouse way back in the back of our property by the barn and chicken coup. We had a pump on the back porch to get our water. We had kerosene lamps until I was about 3. That’s when my Grandpa Miller died. They say he sat and rocked me all the time and wouldn’t let anyone else rock me. I can’t wait to meet him in the next life. We were not too far away from the Susquehanna River and the HUGE river rats were in our cellar and attic. When Mom sent us down to the cellar for something, they used to jump out between the steps and scare us to death. In our bedroom was the door to the attic and we could hear the rats running around up there, but they never came in the regular part of the house. We were blessed!!! At times, Mom and Dad had to take in my Uncle Bob’s kids when he was in-between wives (he killed most of them with his beating of them) and a lot of times Mom had 12 kids there for a long time. We only had one bedroom, so Mom put up a rope and blankets between the two beds and we all slept in one room. We slept 3 at the top of the bed and 3 at the bottom of the bed. We were poor but we had a lot of fun. We used to pull the covers off each other and have pillow fights. It was so cold that we put our clothes under our pillows and dressed under the covers. We left our shoes under the stove in the kitchen and ran down and put them on there. We took baths in big steel tubs in the kitchen. We all had long hair because Grandma didn’t believe in cutting it and she was the boss. We washed all that long hair on the porch in a little wash basin. What a time!!! We didn’t have a washer, so we hand washed them on a washboard and hung them outside. In the winter we used to come in with our fingers bleeding because we had metal clotheslines, and our fingers would stick on them and pull the skin off. We had to bring frozen clothes in and have them sit around the kitchen until they dried all the way. They looked like ghosts sitting on the floor or table or chairs. Our food was scarce, but we survived it. A lot of nights we only had cracker soup (hot water, salt, pepper, butter, and saltine crackers) to eat. It kept us from starving. Mom and Dad couldn’t afford Christmas for us, and I remember Mom crying by herself because she was upset over it. We had a neighbor who usually brought us something in for Christmas. Just one thing each, but it kept us happy. We really didn’t know we were poor until we got older.
We always had a lot of kids to play with. We played with old boxes or cans out of the garbage and pretended to play house and store. We had boxing matches out between the old barn and feed shed. Some of the time we got hurt a little, but not much.
We had a couple of dogs and a few chickens. One time someone threw 3 puppies down the outhouse. My dad went down through the hole and rescued them. The smell was awful. I loved the dogs. We played games outside like tag, red light, and hide and seek. Hopscotch and things like that. We always had a good time but we worked hard too. Especially when Mom had 15 of us there. We had to help. The neighbors were around the block. We were on a dirt road just a block from the paved roads in town. We were the only house on that block. There was a couple of kids about 2 blocks away that were at our house all the time. They were the Spoonenbergs (Richard, Dale and I can’t remember the rest). Then there were the Davis’s a block behind us (Darwin, Barry, Ellen and I can’t remember the younger ones). We both shared an alleyway between our properties. Mrs. Davis (Margaret) would come over and yell at Mom every time we got in a fight with her kids, and while she was yelling at Mom, us kids were all back playing together again. Mom just laughed. She knew we would be together again. We used to go in Fairchild’s wheat fields and smash down a circle of wheat and make it our place. All the neighborhood kids would get together, and we would go there and tell ghost stories. Fairchild’s knew and let us do it. They were nice to us. They gave us milk from their dairy and eggs and Mom made a lot of potato soup. It was good.
Mom refused to take welfare, so she did housework and ironing for others, even though she had 15 of us at home (including Grandma). She worked for the dairy farm (Fairchild’s) across from us and also the mayor of our town. I used to babysit the mayor’s son. He was so cute. Then she also started working for a family that owned a jewelry store up town. I also babysat for their son. He was killed in a car accident. He was a genius. Dad worked at low paying jobs and did what he could. He had arthritis so bad, he was laid up sometimes. There was no money from Grandma (she had nothing). There are so many things I remember. When she died when I was 13 the other brother and two sisters of Dad’s came and sold the house for $1500. We got nothing even though we took care of Grandma for over 20 years. Our first apartment was on the 3rd floor. We had no furniture or anything. We slept on the floor on old mattresses in the hallway. My sister, Marqueen and I, saved our baby-sitting money and bought them their first dinette set. I put myself through high school. I used my money to buy my prom gown and I paid for my own class ring and rented my graduation robe and hat. I was glad to help. I went to the prom with Fred Shell from Nescopeck, PA. We used to have a lot of fun square dancing on Saturday nights at West Side Park. He was great but didn’t take me seriously.
And then there was Phema Heller. She was our closest neighbor. Her husband’s name was Holland Heller. They lived about 2 wheat fields away. Their kids were older than us and I always considered her my grandma. My dad had a habit of calling me ‘pooch’. One day a truck with a cage on the back came and asked my dad if we had any pooches we wanted to get rid of. I was about 4. Mom said I ran over to Phema’s and just sat there and didn’t say a word. She knew something was wrong because she said I was always running around and never quiet. She asked me what was the matter and I told her my dad was going to give me to a man with a cage. She laughed so hard, and no one ever let me live that down. Her husband’s name was Holland Heller. Their sons were racing their horses down our dirt road one time, and we were all out there watching them. My youngest sister Shirley was too close and one of Reggie’s horse’s stirrups caught her in the head. Her eye and face was black and blue for a long time.
One lucky thing that has helped me now with family history is my personal knowledge of most of my cousins. Most of my dad’s cousins and aunts and uncles came every Sunday for dinner. We always fed an army. They said they wanted to see Grandma Miller, but I’m sure the food didn’t discourage them either. My dad’s sister, Aunt Peg (Florence) helped out with these meals too. She was great. She was a second mother to me. She taught all us kids to drive a stick shift when we were about 10. I’ll tell you more about her later. That helped me know the extended family as well as my own. I am grateful for that.
Our town was small but big enough that we had about 200 in my graduating class. Every time I go back there it’s changed a lot. I was in a drum and bugle corps when I was 11. I was a twirler first and then moved on up to the color guard. The band broke up just before I moved to Millville when I was 15. We spent one year in Millville school district. I was captain of the volleyball team. Mom couldn’t stand living in the country, so we moved back to Berwick.
The outline I am working on says to talk about my dad next. My dad’s name was Lester Edmond Miller. He was born on 1 July 1916 in Berwick, Columbia County, Pennsylvania. Well, I loved him because he was my dad, but he never had much time for us kids. We were just like a piece of furniture to him. When he got older, he tried to make up for it a little. My Grandmother Miller believed that boys were to work on the outside of the house and the girls were to work inside. She made Peg and Lillie wait on Dad and Bob every day. They were not even supposed to get their own water to drink. When he married my mom, she was his next slave. He was very vain. Every hair had to be in place, and he spent a lot of time working with it. He never wore jeans, just dress clothes all the time. He had rheumatism and the dampness affected him. He had a degree in drafting, but his hands shook too much to draw a straight line. To his credit, he worked all he could and helped Mom provide. He died on 10 May 1998 in Bloomsburg hospital. His parents were Amos Raphel Miller (1867-1943) and Mary Emma Gower (1884-1954). Rafe was about 5 foot tall and Mary was 6 foot 1 inch. Their other children were Florence (Peg), Robert (Bob), Lillian (Lilly), and Dad. Grandpa was full of patience with Grandma. He planted a garden to help feed the family and when Grandma got mad at him, she would go pull all the plants out (before she was crippled) and he would not yell at her, but just replanted. He was in a coma for a couple of weeks before he died and about an hour before he died, he woke up and told Grandma not to worry about him because he already knew what his job was in Heaven. He was told he would be paving roads with gold. He always was a hard worker. When I was a baby, he wouldn’t let anyone but him rock me. My dad was faithful to my mom and never hit her like his brother Bob did to his 3 wives. Aunt Peg and Aunt Lilly could never have children. There were only Uncle Bob’s kids for our cousins on the Miller side, but we had a lot of second cousins. We were never without a lot of family, of which I am grateful.
Next, I am supposed to talk about my mom. I hope we have enough paper. She was wonderful and the most saintly person I have ever met. I always said that if I could be half the mother she was I would be great. She was born on 31 January 1919 in Muncy Vally, Lycoming County in Pennsylvania. My mother’s side is complicated. Her mother died when she was 2 weeks old from the 1919 flu epidemic, and her father had 4 other kids to take care of and couldn’t handle a baby. He left his uncle and aunt take her to raise. They lost 4 babies at birth, and she wanted to raise my mom. I don’t know the arrangements Grandpa made with his aunt and uncle, but they always let Mom think she was theirs and she never met her father until she was about 20 and my Grandma Miller told her who she was. It made my Grandma Wilson mad, and the two grandmas wouldn’t talk to each other even though they were aunt and niece. Grandpa Wilson died when Mom was 7 years old and Grandma Wilson raised her on her own. She made Mom do all the work and just supervised. Grandpa Wilson’s name was William Harrison Wilson (1863) and he was an uncle to my mom’s mom. His wife, Clementine Cornelia Pleasant (13 January 1869 – 24 April 1963) was an aunt to my Grandmother Miller (Dad’s mother). They raised my mom. Her real parents were William Harrison Reese (1882-1968) and Ada Alamedia Corderman (1888-1919). They lived in the Williamsport area. Sometimes Mom played with her real sisters and never knew who they were. She just thought they were some cousins. While she was growing up, she was named Velma Pearl Wilson. After she found her family, she found out that her real name was Mabel Louella Reese. Grandpa Reese wanted her to change her name back but by that time she was married, and everything was in the Wilson name. She married Lester Edmond Miller, whose mother was a niece of Grandma Wilson. They weren’t blood relations, but part of the same family as the mother who raised her. Mom’s blood relationship came through William Wilson’s line. Mom and Dad moved into the homestead to take care of Grandma Miller. I told you about her in my dad’s story. Mom worked from dawn to midnight every day. I don’t know how she did it. I can never remember her complaining. We had nothing and were as poor as church mice, but somehow she managed. We didn’t eat high on the hog, but we didn’t starve either. She refused welfare and worked doing people’s cleaning and ironing to help out Dad’s paycheck. She still had all of us kids and Grandma to take care of.
Mom had three sisters and a brother. I never met the brother. I think he died before Mom found them. Her oldest sister was Ruth Ritter and her husband was first a Matthews and he was a drunk. She divorced him and married Don Ritter. Some rumor said they never married but just lived together, but I’m not sure about that. They were common law if not married. They had one daughter, Loretta. Loretta was my age and never married. She died when she was in her fifties. Aunt Ruth had two boys by her first husband. One was run over by a train because her drunken husband wasn’t watching him too good while Ruth was working trying to keep bills paid. Her other son, William Matthews is still alive and living in Panama City, Florida. He is about 85 now (2017). We call each other now and then. You can find more about their families in my history books in the safe. When I was a teenager, I used to spend some of my summers in Williamsport with her and my other cousin Kathy. She’s Aunt Hazel’s daughter.
Aunt Grace was married to a Smith (look in my books). They had a lot of kids, and she was never very sociable and I never got to know that family very well.
Aunt Hazel was crippled but nice. I spent some time with them when I was a teenager. Her husband was Walter Lechler. He died at an early age. They had a daughter Kathy and a son Walter, Jr. Kathy is still alive and lives by Scranton, PA. She had several kids and used to come and visit us sometime. We still send Christmas cards to each other. Two of her boys died of an inherited (from their dad) kidney disease and her two daughters are still alive (their family is also in my history books). Walter Jr. died young.
When I was older and married, Dad had his own country and western band and Mom used to like to go along with him and dance with the other band members’ wives. They had a blast. Fred and I went with them sometimes. She loved life and was a special person. She helped everyone she could and always was nice to everyone. She loved Branson, Missouri and after Dad died, I used to go back to PA and take her and my sister Marqueen to Branson. Fred would go fishing with his brother and us three would head out to Branson and then back to PA. We went 6 times and every time we came in from Utah, she always asked if we were going to Branson again. Right before her 80th birthday, Paul sent her and I on a cruise to the islands. We had a great time, and I will never forget that trip. She said that was the best trip she was ever on. We had an 80’s birthday party for her when we got back and then I had to head back home. She died in 2008 at the age of 89. I was back there with the family while she was in the hospital and when she died. Fred and I stayed and cleared out the house and had a yard sale and then sold the bigger stuff off through the newspaper. We split up the money with the family and went back to Utah. Marqueen and Paul helped as much as they could. Mom and Dad both died of heart attacks.
Dad had a degree in drafting but lost the ability to use it because of a shake he developed in his hands. He did mostly labor jobs. He tried the best he could. Mom worked house cleaning and ironing and things like that. In her older years she worked for Grants Department Store and then K-Mart, from which she retired.
My sister Gladys died at birth. She lived 5 minutes. Mom was lifting my Grandmother Miller around and tore her water sack. That caused Gladys to die. My brother, Carl, was in the Vietnam War and contracted agent orange. He died when he was 52 from a massive heart attack. Mom and him had just gone to Carl’s friend’s funeral two weeks before he died. They had been friends from Vietnam. Carl was at work and just dropped over with a heart attack. Most of my extended family died of heart problems.
While I was growing up we suffered most from poverty. We only had one pair of shoes each and when we got holes in the soles, Mom would put pieces of cardboard in them so we could walk to school. We lived in an old homestead with no siding on it and holes in the walls that let the wind blow through. We had an old radio that we used to listen to things on. Like the Lone Ranger and Tonto, Green Hornet, and others. We played Monopoly a lot. Most of the time we were outside playing games or working and helping Mom or Grandma Miller. We were poor but happy because we had a lot of kids to play with. We missed Grandpa Miller after he died, but other than that, it was rather uneventful
(Staff note: Here is where her narrative ends. I’m sure she had many other things to write about but didn’t get to. In several places she mentions a safe with her ‘history books’. We have the safe and the books. Perhaps in future entries we’ll add notes from them.)