Beach Haven

I’m a counselor in the Stockbridge GA ward bishopric these days. Just one volunteer church position in a long list of them I've held over the years. As part of that responsibility, I have the assignment to invite members of our congregation to speak in sacrament meetings from time to time. As a bishopric, we spent some time recently considering what topics we should have speakers focus on. Our bishop has been thinking a lot recently about the attributes or characteristics of the Savior. Of course, that list is long. How does one narrow it down? Which of all should be focused on? That might be a difficult question, but here is one place to start. From the church website there is an entry titled ‘Attributes of Christ’.

It is found here:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe/becoming-like-jesus/attributes-of-christ

The site has a specific list. Each attribute comes with a short explanation and one scripture that relates to the example. The list is: faith, hope, charity, love, virtue, patience, and humility. During our discussion we focused on the relationships among words like faith, belief, know, love, and act. Many years ago, I developed a continuum (my general way of thinking) that followed the Book of Mormon prophet Alma’s description of the progress from ‘desire to believe’, to ‘believe’, to ‘faith’ and finally to ‘know’. As we wrote the earlier words on the white board in the bishop’s office, the relationships seemed less linear and more circular. The relationships among them seemed to be two-way between each and among them all. As we considered any two words, they appeared completely co-productive of each other term. Sorry to allow the academic term (co-productive) to seep into this note. It’s just the way I think. It simply means that each term helps define the others and is also defined by the others.

Whatever attributes or characteristics one considers of Jesus, the youth guidebook for personal development published by the church quotes the scripture Luke 2:52 “Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.” His attributes, and our goals, can be grouped into the four areas of this scripture as the guidebook points out: spiritual, social, physical, and intellectual. I hope to become more Christ-like. I hope to understand these attributes by attempting my best to live them and be willing to let Jesus take my burdens each time I fall short.

To the degree we each work in our life as emissaries of the Savior, we are helping others to gain Christ-like attributes as we ourselves are as well. 
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In my last post I talked about something unexpected in a hotel shower on our trip to Utah for the Christmas holiday. I wanted to share one more similar experience. On that same trip, we were passing through Oklahoma City and stopped for the night. It was late at night and dark. In front of the hotel was a Seven-Eleven gas station surrounded on either side by other businesses. I was tired. We stopped to fill our gas tank. On outside speakers, music was playing. I hardly paid attention and assumed I was listening to some odd Christmas music. The next morning we enjoyed breakfast, packed up, and headed out for our car. In the cold I could hear the continued music. Less groggy, I could actually understand what I was hearing. The music was not Christmas centered. It was actually opera! Imagine that. Operatic loudspeakers at a Seven-Eleven in Oklahoma City, next to the freeway. On one side of the gas station was a taco shop. On the other a cannabis shop. None of these three businesses screamed ‘opera’ to my conventional way of thinking.

Michelle and I have crisscrossed America on many occasions and have done so on many different highways and byways. Some people gain comfort in how much of our country is the same. Predictability in chain businesses buffers from negative surprises, but they also tend to take away the unexpected, odd experiences that come when someone in an odd place defies conventionality with their approach to business. I always prefer a local eatery over the familiar for example. Even though the gas station in this case was a chain, to make it more localized, whoever was in charge managed to put an offbeat spin on the experience.   
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While my wife and I traveled this past Christmas we stayed at several hotels. At one of them something unexpected happened. After getting there late at night, and waking up tired the next morning, I prepared for a shower. It was one of those that has a single handle you just twist. The position of the knob determines the temperature of the water. When plumbed normally, you twist counterclockwise and the water progresses from cold, through warm, and landing on hot. I turned the knob all the way to the hot position waiting for the water to warm up. It didn’t. Instead, the water remained icy cold. This was not the best outcome first thing in the morning. I began to twist it clockwise, back toward off, when the water began to warm. It was obvious the shower was plumbed backwards. When the knob was in the red zone the water was cold, and when it was in the blue zone the water was hot. I thought to myself, why would they not take the short time necessary to simply remove the valve, flip it around, and reinstall it? I know how that works as we had the same problem in our Georgia home when we first moved in 18 years ago.

After my shower and breakfast, I returned to the bathroom and then I noticed it. Right above the shower knob was a sticker warning the reader that the plumbing was backwards. Instead of fixing it they just shared the unexpected status. I thought how interesting it was that the whole time I fiddled with the knob I never even noticed the sticker. I learned through experience the mistake despite someone’s attempt to warn me. Seems like we see what we look for, and miss what we don’t look for, even when the thing we don’t see is right in front of us.

From Matthew 13
14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive:
15 For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.
16 But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.

I hope we are looking for those things that Heavenly Father wants to teach us. I’m sure I miss plenty of opportunities to learn since sometimes I have eyes but see not. 
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What has been bouncing around lately is the relationship among faith, hope, and charity. It’s been sparked by two writers. One of my favorite sections of scripture is 1 Cor 13 from the New Testament. There is a similar passage we have recently read as my wife and I review scriptures at breakfast. It’s Moroni 7 in the Book of Mormon in which Moroni is quoting his father Mormon.

Both Paul and Mormon come to a similar conclusion, that charity is in the primary position of the three.

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Moroni 7:46-47
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--
But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
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I wondered why that is. Here is my simple way of thinking of it. Faith is what we do. Hope is what we gain. Charity is our motivation. There are many scriptures that show that if we don’t have charity, or love, as a motivation then our works (faith) and hope are in vain. If we hope to gain hope, then why we do what we do is more important than doing what we do. I’m sure you scriptorians out there can find many passages that note how our works alone don’t save us. We are not saved without Jesus Christ. Also, if all we do is ‘believe’ in Christ but don’t act on what he says then we are faithless. Perhaps an obvious example of these two extremes of focus on works or focus on belief is found here:

Matthew 7: 21-23
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

A talk I gave in church in October of last year:​

Our granddaughter Minnie Coates is 2 years old. Recently she looked up at my wife with wide open eyes and a big grin after taking her first taste of a Tootsie Roll and said, "So stinkin' good!" The Heavens have reopened, and it’s so stinkin’ good. I will look at only one of the gospel parts that has been restored. There are many, but I consider this one as high on the priority list.

Moses 1:39
For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.

The key word for me here is and. It does not say or in other words. This by definition means that immortality is not the same thing as eternal life. Immortality means to live forever. We also call it salvation or resurrection.  Eternal life means living forever with God, in the same way that God lives. We also call it exaltation. Salvation comes to all as a free gift from Jesus Christ. Exaltation also comes from Jesus Christ through His atonement but requires us to exercise faith in the way He has commanded.

From the conference talk “Joseph Smith - Prophet of the Restoration” (Tad R Callister, Oct. 2009):
Through Joseph Smith have been restored all the powers, keys, teachings, and ordinances necessary for salvation and exaltation. You cannot go anywhere else in the world and get that. It is not to be found in any other church. It is not to be found in any philosophy of man or scientific digest or individual pilgrimage, however intellectual it may seem. Salvation is to be found in one place alone, as so designated by the Lord Himself when He said that this is “the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth” (D&C 1:30).

Malachi 4
5 ¶ Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord:
6 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

​Joseph Smith History
38 And again, he quoted the fifth verse thus: Behold, I will reveal unto you the Priesthood, by the hand of Elijah the prophet, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.
39 He also quoted the next verse differently: And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers. If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.

I read at least two meanings of the word 'wasted'. In one sense it can be read as the earth would be laid waste, as in destroyed. I don’t get that particular meaning here. For me the ‘curse’ or the ‘waste’ would be that all the effort of the plan of salvation would be made moot if the hearts of the children and fathers are not turned toward each other. If we are to have eternal life, meaning God’s life, what is that life? God’s life is family life. We have a loving Heavenly Father and Mother. We are their spirit sons and daughters. So Elijah the prophet was to bring the priesthood keys that made eternal families binding all of God’s children. If this were not to happen, then none of us would achieve His stated goal of eternal life.

Christ to Peter:
Matthew 16
18 And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
19 And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Elijah to Joseph Smith in the temple at Kirtland, Ohio, April 3, 1836:
D&C110
13 After this vision had closed, another great and glorious vision burst upon us; for Elijah the prophet, who was taken to heaven without tasting death, stood before us, and said:
14 Behold, the time has fully come, which was spoken of by the mouth of Malachi—testifying that he [Elijah] should be sent, before the great and dreadful day of the Lord come--
15 To turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse--
16 Therefore, the keys of this dispensation are committed into your hands; and by this ye may know that the great and dreadful day of the Lord is near, even at the doors.

Our Jewish friends still look forward to the coming of Elijah. They even set an extra spot at their Passover meal, reserved for Elijah in case he comes to their house. They imagine it is to happen at the only arrival of the Messiah, but the Messiah has already arrived and will again. Elijah was to bring these keys back before his second arrival to usher in the millennial era. He did bring those keys to Joseph Smith.

From the conference talk “Pillars and Rays” (Alexander Dushku, April 2024):
You may have experienced these bursts of light and testimony as “peace [spoken] to your mind concerning [a] matter” that has worried you.  Or as an impression—a still, small voice—that settled “in your mind and in your heart” and urged you to do something good, such as helping someone. Perhaps you’ve been in a class at church—or at a youth camp—and felt a strong desire to follow Jesus Christ and stay faithful. Maybe you even stood and shared a testimony that you hoped was true and then felt it was. Or maybe you’ve been praying and felt a joyful assurance that God loves you.  You may have heard someone bear testimony of Jesus Christ, and it touched your heart and filled you with hope. Perhaps you were reading in the Book of Mormon and a verse spoke to your soul, as if God had put it there just for you—and then you realized that He did. You may have felt the love of God for others as you served them. Or maybe you struggle to feel the Spirit in the moment because of depression or anxiety but have the precious gift and the faith to look back and recognize past “tender mercies of the Lord.”

I hope someone in this sacrament meeting (or reading this post) has had a similar experience.
Our grandson Dallin Blackburn tasted some of Sister Beach’s molasses cookies not long ago. After taking a bite, like his cousin Minnie, he looked at Sister Beach with wide eyes and a big smile and said, "Good thing you made them with extra good things." As good as those cookies are, the Gospel has even better extra good things. It is in the Gospel we gain true and lasting happiness. Only in the Gospel of Jesus Christ can we be the recipients of God’s ultimate goals for us of immortality and eternal life.

When I served as a full-time missionary in southern Spain in 1982 and 1983 the singing group Mocedades was in the waning part of their career, but still really popular. Among their songs was one that touched me back then, and still does. It is called “Dime Señor”. It means, ‘tell me Lord’. Here are the words in Spanish and English.

Sola en el puerto de la verdad,
Veo mi vida meciéndose en el mar.
Es una barca que no viene ni va.
Mis esperanzas son velas sin hinchar.
No tengo playa donde atracar.
No tengo amarras, a nadie tengo ya.
A la deriva está mi barca en el mar.
A la deriva mi vida flota ya.
Dime Señor ¿a quién tengo que esperar?
¿Con qué viento, con qué rumbo debo navegar?
Dime Señor, pescador del más allá,
¿Habrá un puerto donde pueda anclar?
Sola en el puerto de la verdad,
Dos flores blancas se mecen en el mar.
Son dos amores que no supe alcanzar.
Son dos entregas y a cambio soledad.
Dime Señor ¿a quién tengo que esperar?
¿Con qué viento, con qué rumbo debo navegar?
Dime Señor, pescador del más allá,
¿Habrá un puerto dónde pueda anclar?

Alone in the port of truth,
I see my life swaying in the sea.
It is a boat that neither comes nor goes.
My hopes are deflated sails.
I don’t have a beach to attract me.
I don’t have ties, I have nobody now.
Adrift is my boat in the sea.
Adrift my life floats now.
Tell me Lord, who do I have to hope for?
With which wind, with which course should I steer?
Tell me Lord, fisherman of the great beyond,
Will there be a port where I can anchor?
Alone in the port of truth,
Two white flowers sway in the sea.
They are two loves I learned to reach for.
They are two gifts, and in exchange is loneliness.
Tell me Lord, who do I have to hope for?
With which wind, with which course should I steer?
Tell me Lord, fisherman of the great beyond,
Will there be a port where I can anchor?
 
You can read these sentiments in several ways. For me, I see them as reflecting the thoughts of someone who wonders about God’s will for them. They are asking where they can find truth among so many conflicting ideas. They pursued at least two former paths and neither panned out. So now they feel alone.
 
The concept of anchoring came home to me over the summer. My grandson Aiden, a family friend and I moved our sailboat from Solomons Island, MD to Norfolk, VA over the summer last year. We might have done it quickly, but we chose to make stops along the way. In the end we spent four days and three nights on the trip before reaching the Bay Point Marina where the boat now resides. Two of those nights we stopped too late to take up residence in a transient marina slip. Instead, we simply searched for reasonable anchorages along the way.
 
The first of these anchorages was not very far south of the outlet of the Patuxent River where we began the journey. The day was windy, and the winds were straight off the bow. That meant we had to tack (zig-zag) as we went. This added distance traveled, but shortened distance traveled in our desired direction. After sailing through a rather heavy squall (storm) we rounded Point No Point Lighthouse on the west shore and anchored just outside Saint Mary’s at the mouth of Saint Jerome Creek. Our boat has some specific dimensions. It is just under 30 feet long, weighs 7000 pounds, and has a mast height of 41 feet. In the case of anchorage, a more important specification is the draft, or depth of the keel. That’s 5-1/2 feet. Given the rise and fall of tides, we generally won’t anchor in water less than 10 feet deep, but if it is too deep then we can be short on anchor chain. That meant inside the bay at the creek outlet was off limits to us because it was too shallow. Outside the bay offered little protection from wind and waves, so having a strong anchorage was very important if we were to get any sleep that night. Ideal anchorage consists of a soft, muddy bottom with limited rocks or plants. Thankfully, that’s exactly what we found in this location. All night the wind blew, and the waves made things uncomfortable. Both shifted from the south to the east which meant that if our anchor lost hold, we would drift into the shallows and be grounded. Thankfully this didn’t happen.

The other anchorage was two nights later. We entered Mobjack Bay late so none of the marinas were open. We picked another good anchorage point on the north side of the bay. Just like the previous anchorage, it was windy at night, but the waves were less bothersome than in the previous anchorage. Mobjack Bay runs from northwest to southeast. It would have been a comfortable place had the winds been from any of the cardinal points. However, the winds were from the southeast meaning they blew unabated from the Chesapeake into Mobjack. Thankfully, as the night passed, so did the winds and we slept comfortably.
 
In both cases, we found the best sort of depth and bottom type. We also had the sort of equipment (anchor and chain) that allowed for safe nights even if they were a bit bouncy at times. In the Mocedades song, they ask if there is safe anchorage. Where do we place our anchor? The gospel of Jesus Christ is where I choose to anchor. I put my anchor, my faith, in the best place, in my personal ‘port of truth’ or perhaps better stated ‘truth seeking’. When the winds blow and the waves rise, it is Jesus Christ who holds me in place, and when needed, He can calm the wind and waves that beat on me in life. In His gospel I find clarity and truth. All other sources I find helpful but wanting.

In my Navy days, I made shipboard passage across the Pacific Ocean five times. When planning a route, we used two different kinds of maps. The first is called a gnomonic projection. Of the two types, it more closely represents the spherical in 2D. The problem is it also covers large swaths of the globe, not much good for day-to-day navigation. We would draw a straight line on this projection, say from San Diego to Honolulu. Then we would transpose some way points to a series of Mercator projections. This sort of map covers smaller parts of the ocean and is better suited for short daily navigation. A GPS uses Mercator projections. Here is the problem. A straight line on a 3D surface like a globe is not straight on a flat surface. As I said, gnomonic maps are a closer approximation of a sphere. A straight line on this map becomes a curved line on a Mercator version. It turns out the shortest distance between two points on a sphere is a curved line, not a straight one. In order to avoid keeping the ship in a constant turn, points are transferred from one map to the other at predetermined intervals. The ship turns a little at each of these waypoints allowing it to keep to the overall path.

While attending the temple recently, I noticed three words connected with the covenants described. These words are ‘laws, rites, and ordinances’. The scriptures remind us that ‘straight is the gate and narrow the way’ that leads to eternal life. The gate is the ordinance of baptism and represents a form of waypoint on our path. From the April 2024 talk "Put Ye on the Lord Jesus Christ" by Sister J. Annette Dennis, “Through a covenant relationship with God, our own lives can become a living symbol of our commitment to and deep love for our Father in Heaven, … and our desire to progress and eventually become like our Savior, being prepared to one day enter Their presence.” From the April 2024 talk "God’s Intent is to Bring You Home" by Elder Patrick Kearon, “What do God’s messengers, His prophets, call this plan in Restoration scripture? They call it the plan of redemption, the plan of mercy, the great plan of happiness, and the plan of salvation, which is unto all, ‘through the blood of mine Only Begotten’.”

First, let’s look at laws. There are certainly laws that we think of as codified such as traffic or tax laws. God’s laws are the commandments. For me, this is a narrow version of what laws are. For example, there are physical laws that existed long before we humans started trying to understand them and write them down. Gravity is a force, sometimes called a law. Because of it, for a long time we thought we could not fly. Eventually we learned there are three other forces along with gravity that are part of the laws of aerodynamics, and then we could fly. Those laws or forces (gravity, drag, thrust, lift) were always there, unwritten, yet true. By the way, when it comes to gravity, we still don’t know what it is. We can describe its effects, but we still use both Newton’s ideas of gravity as a pulling force and Einstein’s ideas that it is a pushing force. We use both because sometimes Newtonian math works better than Einsteinian or vice versa, but neither fully describes gravity. Despite the fact that we haven’t fully documented the law of gravity, yet it exists. For me, a law is less a set of written rules. It is more a way of life, a path. D&C 88:25 "And again, verily I say unto you, the earth abideth the law of a celestial kingdom, for it filleth the measure of its creation, and transgresseth not the law."

Rites are a subset of the law we choose to live. These are physical things we do alone or together that act as waypoints along our path, our law. They could be traditions we do like birthday celebrations or holidays. Other examples are holding family home evening, youth activities, ministering, serving a mission, our callings, or repentance. For me, not all rites are commandments, but all commandments are rites. If we choose rites that are not waypoints on the path to heaven then we eventually arrive somewhere else.

Finally, ordinances are a subset of rites. In the case of ordinances, they are defined and require authority. These are things we can’t do for ourselves, but someone else performs for us, or we for someone else. Examples include baptism, confirmation, receiving the priesthood, and temple ceremonies. I have come to think that the Atonement was also an ordinance. It was performed only once by one person who had authority on behalf of everyone. Christ did not need the atonement for his sin since He had no sin. He was not acting for himself. He did resurrect for himself, then gave that power to the rest of us.

Navigating along the covenant path, following a law or way of life, is like the straight line on the gnomonic projection. Rites and ordinances are like waypoints we do day-to-day like those documented on a Mercator map. What’s our next waypoint, our next rite or ordinance? Is it attending meetings, going to activities, partaking of the Sacrament, or attending the temple for ourselves or our ancestors? President Nelson has reminded us that the covenant path includes daily repentance. We also know we should include daily prayer and scripture study as waypoints as well. These routine rites keep us on the path. Again from the talk by Elder Kearon, “Fundamentally implicit in all of His teachings to live on a higher plane of moral conduct is a call to personal progression, to transformative faith in Christ, to a mighty change of heart.” Let us include more daily waypoints to stay closer to the path of personal progression.

For years I rode the train from Stafford, VA to Washington DC each day. It gave me about an hour each morning and evening to study for my classes, listen to music, pray, and ponder about questions as they came to me. Over the course of a year or so, one question I asked on and off was how to develop a direct relationship with the Savior. For example, when I pray, I speak to Heavenly Father and receive guidance through the Holy Ghost, so I am directly interacting with the two of them. I understood Jesus Christ to be my advocate with the Father. At times I would picture it almost as if He were there next to Heavenly Father, sort of whispering to Him on my behalf. I could be thankful for what He did for me in the atonement, but the communication relationship seemed indirect and impersonal.

From the conference talk by Elder Jose L. Alonso titled “Jesus Christ at the Center of Our Lives” I read "The profound questions of the soul, those that surface in our darkest hours and highest trials, are addressed through the unwavering love of Jesus Christ." In Matthew 11: 28-30 Jesus himself said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” The load of normal life with added feelings of guilt can become a heavy load indeed. The Lord’s grace takes our guilt, making our load lighter. When we understand His love for us even our normal life-load seems lighter when we consider the future promised.

From the conference talk by Elder Quentin L. Cook titled “Be One with Christ” I read "I recalled the Savior’s pleading Intercessory Prayer (John 17) in our behalf. This prayer occurred in literally the closing hours of His mortal life as recorded in the Gospel of John." I see John 17 as a master class in clarity between the dogma of the Trinity and the doctrine of the God Head. It is clear that we are to be one with Them and with each other even as They are one with each other, meaning in the same way that They are one. Not one in body, but in every other way. Continuing from Elder Cook’s talk, "In today’s world, it is easy to focus on material and occupational success. Some lose sight of eternal principles and choices that have eternal significance. We would be wise to follow President Russell M. Nelson’s counsel to 'think celestial'.”

During the sacrament ordinance we say we are willing to take His name upon us. In the temple, we are not just willing to take His name, but in two places we symbolically take His name upon us in a more literal and direct way. Likewise, we finish our prayers saying ‘in the name of Jesus Christ’. This was another of my train-pondering topics. What does that even mean? I’m sure there are many likely meanings, but at least one of them includes approaching deity with both the privileges and obligations of a follower of Jesus Christ. We say to God that we subject ourselves to and claim the blessings of the grace of Him who atoned for us. In this way, we directly align ourselves with Jesus and commit to a direct association.

Back to my consideration of how to have a more direct relationship with Jesus Christ. I thought of two times when Jesus acted as an advocate. The first was mentioned earlier during the intercessory prayer in John 17. The other happened in 3 Nephi 17:15-18.

15 And when he had said these words, he himself also knelt upon the earth; and behold he prayed unto the Father, and the things which he prayed cannot be written, and the multitude did bear record who heard him.
16 And after this manner do they bear record: The eye hath never seen, neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father;
17 And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father.
18 And it came to pass that when Jesus had made an end of praying unto the Father, he arose; but so great was the joy of the multitude that they were overcome.

In both cases, Jesus was not at a distance whispering to the Father on behalf of others. Instead, he knelt alongside them and prayed to God on their behalf. This changed my perspective. From that point on, instead of seeing Jesus at a distance as I pray, I now see him as kneeling beside me, joining me in prayer to Father, speaking in my behalf. My part of that process is to repent daily for my shortcomings and serve others. Like everyone else, I have earthly responsibilities such as earning a living, taking care of my home, furthering my education, and spending time with my family among other things. Yet these things need to be secondary. Although most things in this life rarely workout perfectly, yet I know to build my direct relationship with Jesus Christ, I need to trust Him to make things right though the power of his grace. This trust includes things both spiritual and temporal, but to tell you the truth I’m not sure I understand the difference. For what spiritual thing do we experience that does not require some sort of physical act? What physical experience does not in some way or other affect our spirit?

I hope I will do my part in order to grow a more direct relationship with Jesus Christ. I hope the same for you as well.
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This past June I had a unique experience. Our sailboat has been at the Harbor Island Marina in Solomon’s Island, MD. We needed to move the boat to Bay Point Marina, in Norfolk, VA, it’s new home. It’s too big for a regular tailer we can pull, and paying a mover to do it is pricey. The best answer was to just sail the boat to its new home. So that’s what happened. I was joined by our grandson Aiden. He is 14 years old. We were also accompanied by Kerry Riley, a family friend of ours from VA. We planned to take our time. In the end we spent 4 days on the water. The first day we faced constant headwinds, so we had to do something called beating, where you zig-zag (tack) about 30 degrees either side of upwind. That meant we spent as much time moving east-west as we did south, our intended direction. In the end we probably sailed about 40 miles to move 20 miles south.

The last part of the trip on that first day brought a rather blustery squall. Despite the daylight, the rain was heavy, and the clouds were thick making visibility rather low. The winds also brought up the sea-state to about 2-foot swells. We were approaching the mouth of Saint Jerome Creek where there is a bit of a point giving partial shelter from the south winds. The lighthouse there is called “Point No-Point Lighthouse”.  The name will give you an idea of the minimal protection of the point. What was inspiring to me is that we got near the lighthouse just as the worst of the storm hit. Rather than approaching the shore for an anchorage during the storm we decided to use the lighthouse. We shifted from sail to motor and circled near the lighthouse. In a world where everything around us was all chaos, the lighthouse was both visible and stationary. Using the GPS and paper charts, we could tell exactly where we were relative to the lighthouse. The storm eventually passed by, and we could see the shore again. This allowed us to safely move close to shore, drop our anchor, and stop for the night. 

There are all sorts of lessons that can be taken from this little story. Here are just a few. The lighthouse gave us something visible and fixed from which we could confidently position ourselves. Like a lighthouse, the Savior is 'the light' and 'the rock'. He encourages us to likewise be ‘steadfast and immovable’. When trying to figure out where to be in life, we can have confidence in Him. In life, storms come and go. It can be hard to see, and like waves and winds, life-stability may be hard to find. Although we still had to ride out the storm, having the stable lighthouse lowered the stress of our little band of three sailors. We didn’t worry about grounding or being unsure of where we were. We also knew that once the storm passed, we could safely navigate to anchorage. Jesus Christ offers similar confidence when trials come our way. 

​In May I had the High Council speaking assignment in the Snellville GA ward. The other speaker was a recently returned missionary who served in Uruguay. Here is the assigned topic and references I used from April 2024 general conference.

Topic: Prepare for and realize the blessings of the ordinances and covenants available in the house of the Lord.

Assigned conference talks and the specific quotes I pulled from them:

The Powerful, Virtuous Cycle of the Doctrine of Christ (Renlund, April 2024)
“We become vulnerable when we slow down and especially when we stop. If we maintain spiritual momentum by continually ‘rowing’ toward the Savior, we are safer and more secure because our eternal life depends on our faith in Him.”

“Spiritual momentum is created ‘over a lifetime as we repeatedly embrace the doctrine of Christ.’ Doing so, President Russell M. Nelson taught, produces a ‘powerful virtuous cycle’. Repeatedly means that we experience the elements of the doctrine of Christ over and over throughout our lives. Iteratively means that we build on and improve with each repetition. Even though we repeat the elements, we are not just spinning in circles without a forward trajectory. Instead, we draw closer to Jesus Christ each time through the cycle.”

“As the Holy Ghost exerts a greater influence in our lives, we progressively and iteratively develop Christlike attributes. Our hearts change.”

“To be clear, baptismal and temple covenants are not, in and of themselves, the source of power. The source of power is the Lord Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. Making and keeping covenants create a conduit for Their power in our lives. As we live according to these covenants, we eventually become inheritors to all that Heavenly Father has.”

Temples, Houses of the Lord Dotting the Earth (Anderson, April 2024)
“On that sacred occasion in the Kirtland Temple, the Prophet prayed that in the Lord’s holy house, the Saints would be armed with the power of God, that the name of Jesus Christ would be upon them, that His angels would have charge over them, and that they would grow up in the Lord and ‘receive a fulness of the Holy Ghost.’ These powerful supplications are fulfilled in our lives as we faithfully worship in the house of the Lord.”

“As we are faithful, we are blessed with protection from temptations and distractions. We feel our Savior’s love as He lifts us from our difficulties and sorrows. We are armed with the power of God.”
“Through the power of the Holy Ghost, we are filled with peace and joy and unspeakable hope. We receive the strength to remain His disciples even when we find ourselves outside of holy places.”
“There are many different ways to see the face of Christ, and there is no better place than in His holy house.”

Mixed in with these quotes I had a few stories lined up to share. Time kept me from using all the quotes and stories, but here is what was in the hopper.

While visiting two of our children in Utah in late April and early May, we attended the Jordan River temple. Among those we took with us in the form of temple name cards were three I’d like to mention.

First was Sarah Liggett. She was very anxious to have her work done. When I was preparing and printing name-cards her ordinances were added to my list and then printed. I had not actually chosen to add her and print her card, yet it happened. I’m sure she was happy when we went ahead and took her with us.

Next was Emma Dietz. Our daughter Ashley and her husband Ryan took her among others for endowments early in the week. Later, we all attended a sealing session. During that session, Emma was sealed to her parents, husband and daughter. Several people in the room noted the feeling of the Spirit when we completed her ordinances.

Finally, Howard Beach. He is my uncle (my father’s brother). When I was a kid growing up in Pennsylvania, Howard was a town cop. For years he’d been in the K-9 group and we got to know his police dog. He finished his career as a city detective. We heard plenty of stories from Howard. I’m sure adults in the family heard more than we kids did. Still more stories likely followed him to his grave unshared. We were able to seal him to my grandparents. I felt the Spirit most strongly for Howard when I had his baptism done in the Washington DC temple a month earlier. I was able to perform the confirmation and felt a spike in the Spirit for the 20 seconds or so it took to confirm him.

At sacrament each week we renew our baptismal covenants in that we say we are ‘willing’ to take upon us His name, meaning to be known as followers of Jesus Christ, members of His church, Christians. In the temple we take His name more directly, not just that we are willing to. I know that I am better at keeping the commandments when I go to the temple. I continue learning new thoughts there, even though I’ve been attending for more than 40 years.

I encourage all our family to keep an up-to-date temple recommend, and to make the time to go. If you don’t have a recommend, consider just visiting the temple grounds and feel the Spirit. You will be showing faith in such a simple act.
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​With the permission of my wife Michelle, I’d like to share a story of discipleship I witnessed back in March. On a Saturday evening at about 10pm she received a phone call. Anytime the phone rings that late it’s almost always bad news. In this case, a sister in our ward was calling for help. She and a friend had gone roller skating earlier that day. At some point the sister took a fall on her backside. It was now hours later, and the pain was still steady and strong. Having experienced a broken tailbone at one time in life, Michelle suggested a hospital visit. The good sister of course had no way to get to the emergency room. So well after our normal bedtime (we're old), off she went into the night to take this sister to the hospital. She knew this was an all-night task and told me to get to sleep.

The next morning as I was driving for an early church leadership meeting, Michelle was on her way home after being up all night. We chatted on the phone. She promised to get an hour or two of sleep before church. I returned home later that morning, and we went to church together. She plays piano for sacrament meeting so felt she could not put that on someone else last minute. She was also unsure if she could stay for the second hour of church. Normally she sits on the stand to avoid going up and down during the sacrament meeting. If I have no church business I sit in the congregation. On this occasion I suggested I might sit on the stand with her and nudge her when it was time to play the piano if she was having trouble staying awake. As you might guess, the opposite happened. She stayed awake and had to nudge me several times during the meeting. She was able to attend Relief Society during the second hour as well. Obviously, the Lord was helping her.

There are several points that came to mind for me in all this. It’s the simple selfless kind of service that marks a servant of the Lord. As important as visible roles in gospel service are, personal direct acts of service are the essence of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Faith is the other thought that came to me in this. She had a willingness to do her part and trust that God would somehow help her through the trial in the moment. Michelle didn’t really question what she needed to do. She gave a short sigh, bade me good night, grabbed her car keys, and off she went knowing fully well she faced a sleepless night. 

Not long ago I was asked to speak at our church in Centerville, GA. The topic assigned was The Book of Mormon. The way I discussed it has to do with architecture. For example, Jesus Christ is the ‘chief corner stone’ of Christianity. Here’s just one scriptural reference:

Ephesians 2:19-21
19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone;
21 In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord:
22 In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.

In Spanish, instead of ‘chief corner stone’ he is referred to as the ‘principal angle stone’. In either way of looking at it, the first corner stone laid for a building determines both the location of the building and the direction in which it is oriented. All other parts of the building are oriented, or referenced, to that first corner stone. Without that stone, or rock if you will, the building has neither place nor direction. Perhaps another way to say it is without Christ there is no Christianity. The gospel would not exist without Him. Christianity would have neither place nor direction.

Similarly, we have The Book of Mormon. From the Introduction of The Book of Mormon:

Concerning this record the Prophet Joseph Smith said: “I told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book.”

I was born and raised in Pennsylvania, along the Susquehanna River. That’s the same river where the priesthood and baptism were reinstituted to our church in this dispensation. Pennsylvania is also where most of The Book of Mormon translation took place. If you’ve ever gone to the visitor center the church has near the town previously known as Harmony, now called Oakland, you would note how all of these early events took place within a short distance from the river. Pennsylvania is called ‘the keystone state’, a moniker that reaches back to colonial days. As one of the original 13 British colonies in America, and later as one of the 13 states, it is physically between the northern colonies with more industrial economies formed by New York and New England, and the southern colonies that were more agricultural producing raw materials for the North and for export. Pennsylvania then and today has both a large industrial base and lots of farmland.

I'm told that an arch is the strongest architectural device in holding up building walls and roofs. In fact, it is the arch that gives the discipline architecture its name! The keystone is the upper-most and center stone in an arch. Remove the keystone and the arch falls along with any walls or roof it was meant to hold up. Just as if you remove Christ then all of Christianity falls, so too if you remove The Book of Mormon, then The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints falls. We claim it to be given through a modern prophet of God. If The Book of Mormon is false, then Joseph Smith is a false prophet. If it is true, then Joseph must be a true prophet, and the church established through him must be a true church, the true church.

Just as no stone building stands without a chief cornerstone or keystone, so too all we latter-day saints believe rests on the chief cornerstone of Jesus Christ, and the keystone of The Book of Mormon.
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​I embrace new tech. That said, I think too often we can be tempted to dump ‘better’ legacy tech in favor of the latest and greatest. We are tempted to move to new tech because it’s new.  The old curmudgeon in me has made me more skeptical of shiny things or change for change’s sake. It seems I’m not alone. IEEE’s Gwendolyn Rak recently interviewed Rachel Plotnick who has been considering how buttons once replaced by touch screens are making a comeback.

Here’s the link to the full interview:
https://spectrum.ieee.org/touchscreens

“One of the biggest observations I made was that a lot of fears and fantasies around pushing buttons were the same 100 years ago as they are today. I expected to see this society that wildly transformed and used buttons in such a different way, but I saw these persistent anxieties over time about control and who gets to push the button, and also these pleasures around button pushing that we can use for advertising and to make technology simpler. That pendulum swing between fantasy and fear, pleasure and panic, and how those themes persisted over more than a century was what really interested me. I liked seeing the connections between the past and the present.”

Plotnik notes how touch screens are more visual than tactile. This can make user interfaces difficult for visually impaired. Button are purely tactile.

“If you look at gamers playing video games, they want to push a lot of buttons on those controls. And if you look at DJs and digital musicians, they have endless amounts of buttons and joysticks and dials to make music. There seems to be this kind of richness of the tactile experience that’s afforded by pushing buttons. They’re not perfect for every situation, but I think increasingly, we’re realizing the merit that the interface offers.”

Personally, I tend to be agnostic when it comes to human interface with machines, specifically my human interfaces. However, I have long worried about the risk of losing a screen causing a total loss of the device it controls. I also don’t like distractions while driving. Looking at a touch screen on a phone has caused way more accidents than the half second it takes to find the volume or tuning knob on a car dashboard. Once you touch an actual button there is no longer need to look at it while using it.

“I like the idea that people who are in the humanities studying these things from a long-term perspective can also speak to engineers trying to build these devices.” That is, if engineering departments take user-experience feedback into account. There are plenty of designers out there who feel they ‘know better’ than the people who receive the devices and software they are cranking out. I would argue that sometimes there is more in the field of design about keeping up with the Jones’ than listening to consumers.
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For a number of years, I attended the Washington DC auto show. I did this not to look at the cars, but to check out the ‘infotainment’ systems (also known as head units) in the dashboards. In my role at NPR back then I was interested in how our over-the-air audio and metadata was being displayed in the menu system of each car. The trend setters were definitely de-buttanizing back then. I’m happy to hear in this interview that the opposite may be happening now. Maybe it’s ok that I held onto that large stereo system in our family room. As the saying goes, ‘everything old is new again’.

For some time I've been writing the occasional story of something happening that was unintended. Along the way I've been seeing many instances of the unexpected that have nothing to do with what someone may have intended, but have passed the story by because it seemed outside the original idea of 'unintended'. In fact, 'unintended' stories are really just a subset of 'unexpected' stories. With that in mind the blog search now includes a topic of 'unexpected' and I won't publish any more stories under the 'unintended' moniker. I already have a few in the hopper I can start with in a week or two. Stay tuned.

It’s been my experience that when people think about cool new software advancements, they rarely think about the impact on physical hardware and what it takes to support that hardware. In a recent IEEE article titled “Generative AI Has a Massive E-Waste Problem” Katherine Bourzac does note the increased requirements of water and electrical grid load. The focus of her article is not on this environmental impact, nor the need for more raw materials to build new servers. Rather, her focus is on the need for evermore capable hardware platforms to run the evermore sophisticated algorithms that search growing databases. Predictive AI ‘learns’ patterns from all sorts of information sources. This approach is known as a large language model or LLM. As we collectively speed up our upgrades, Bourzac notes that it could result in 2.5 million tons of waste increase of old machines we get rid of in the process.

The author reminds us that, “electronic waste contains toxic metals and other chemicals that can leach out into the environment and cause health problems.” She shares that a staggering 62 million tons of e-waste was produced worldwide in 2022 alone. That means our e-waste is growing five times as fast as our ability to recycle it. To make it worse, Bourzac was only considering studies associated with LLM models of AI. There are others as well.

Despite the fact that our machines and the chips that run them get more efficient over time, the volume of systems is still growing. Bourzac recommends ‘downcycling’, meaning repurposing servers for more simple tasks such as web hosting. That prolongs usage so long as the equipment continues to function. At some point though, it will still become waste. Large tech firms have announced ‘sustainability goals’, but these generally relate to carbon footprint and not so much about e-waste. 

Here's the link to the article:
https://spectrum.ieee.org/e-waste

I regularly read a monthly publication from my church. The periodical is called The Liahona and is published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Earlier this year I was reading the January Liahona. I reviewed the article “Slow Reading: Seeing the Savior in the Scriptures” by Ted Barnes.

Here’s the link:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2024/01/06-slow-reading-seeing-the-savior-in-the-scriptures?lang=eng

It made me think of a scripture I was ‘slow reading’ at the time. By that I mean I looked at the words closely and considered their various possible meanings, searching for Spirit-led insights. In speaking of early American people, The Book of Mormon says:

2 Nephi 1
5. But, said he, notwithstanding our afflictions, we have obtained a land of promise, a land which is choice above all other lands; a land which the Lord God hath covenanted with me should be a land for the inheritance of my seed. Yea, the Lord hath covenanted this land unto me, and to my children forever, and also all those who should be led out of other countries by the hand of the Lord.
6. Wherefore, I, Lehi, prophesy according to the workings of the Spirit which is in me, that there shall none come into this land save they shall be brought by the hand of the Lord.

(Mike’s note: This would seem to include all who come to America through whatever means.)

7. Wherefore, this land is consecrated unto him whom he shall bring. And if it so be that they shall serve him according to the commandments which he hath given, it shall be a land of liberty unto them; wherefore, they shall never be brought down into captivity; if so, it shall be because of iniquity; for if iniquity shall abound cursed shall be the land for their sakes, but unto the righteous it shall be blessed forever.

Plenty to unpack here. I read this as regardless of how or when someone comes to this land they will be blessed if they keep the commandments such that the land will be a land of liberty. If iniquity becomes more the norm, then this land will be cursed. Despite such cursing for the majority when iniquity becomes the norm, the land will still be blessed for those who are righteous, however much a minority, since the word used above is ‘forever’.

I wonder about this pattern in the limited historical knowledge we have of people coming to the Americas. In The Book of Mormon there were the Jeredites who arrived in the wake of events of the Biblical Tower of Babel. As they began to decline and self-destruct, the family of the Israelite named Lehi (dividing into factions of Nephites and Lamanites) were next. They were later joined by the Mulekites who came after them but who had lost the gospel as a people. They were saved from destruction by the teachings of the Nephites. Eventually the Nephites were destroyed by their Lamanite relatives as they had rejected the gospel after having it for so long. The Nephite people had the gospel and the Lamanites had strayed because of early decisions by their ancestors. Lamanites had power over the Nephites for in the end as we read in Doctrine and Covenants 82:3 “…he who sins against the greater light shall receive the greater condemnation.”

One assumption of mine is that Asians migrating south mixed with those Nephites who left the main body of their people having migrated north, after which no more is known of them. Later, their decedents likely mixed with Lamanites. In either case, the Lamanites eventually encountered Europeans who were led here. Like the other people chronicled in The Book of Mormon, the Lamanites too were decimated and driven. However, in keeping with God’s promises to Lehi and Nephi, the Lamanites have not been completely destroyed, but still live among us. After the Europeans came, they were joined by free and enslaved people from every part of the globe. 

What of this pattern? Are the people now flooding our southern border a manifestation of yet another cyclic iteration? Have the modern American people drifted so far from the values of Christianity that we too risk the land becoming cursed for our sakes? Will we be supplanted by another people? I’m not saying all people in America have to be Christians. We are a diverse nation and that has shown to be a strength to us since before we were a country. I am advocating here for those basic values that have come to define our way of life regardless of one’s belief or non-belief. I understand these values are Judeo-Christian in origin, but other cultures hold similar values.

I’ve heard many speculate about these topics lately in the news. Specifically, there is a great deal of debate about legal and illegal immigration. I’m not sure raising alarm is the primary way we regular every-day Americans should react. Rather, along with voting our conscience, as the scripture says above, “unto the righteous it shall be blessed forever.”

The best way I can gain comfort in a time of turmoil is to trust in Jesus Christ. As I do my best to live the Gospel, however imperfectly, I can have confidence that His promises are sure. I can share the gospel with those who have a long American pedigree, and recent immigrants alike. If they live righteously then they too can find the blessing of liberty here. That said, an aspect of living the gospel according to one of our articles of faith states that “We believe… in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law” (Articles of Faith 1:12).  Whether long-time citizens or in the process of becoming one, accepting evil over good will add to the cursing. Whatever lays ahead in the future for our country, I believe my own personal future will be sure to the degree I put my faith in Jesus Christ by serving Him.
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I'm retired these days. While I worked, one aspect of that life that I both appreciated, and at times only tolerated, was travel. When I was young, I loved that part of my work life. Now as an old guy, travel can be taxing. Despite the challenge of it, I have been blessed to visit so much of this planet. One of my collateral duties at NPR was to represent the network as a board member of the North American Broadcasters Association (NABA). That group seeks to represent broadcasters to the respective governments of Canada, Mexico, and the US. NABA is one regional group in the larger World Broadcast Union (WBU). On one of my last trips for work, I was representing NABA at a WBU conference in Tunis, Tunisia. I was joined on a panel by reps from some of the other regions. The event was hosted at the Arab States Broadcasting Union (ASBU).

I had a few extra days in Tunis before the event and was able to see much of the main parts of the city including the Mediterranean coast. Getting around, interacting in multiple languages, making sense of local money and local customs, trying out food that is new to me, these are all part of the process. Perhaps the reader is familiar with this. Even if you have never left the US, chances are you’ve felt some level of culture shock when visiting other places. Going to a new place can bring about ambiguity. Thank goodness we have some help with all of this. There are others who have gone before us who can share words of wisdom. There are others who go with us who can share in the experience of the day. There is a loving Heavenly Father who can guide us through the wonderful blessing that comes from the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. We also have those who love us back home, wherever that is for each of us, who pray for us and await our return.

While in Tunis, I was able to walk through some of the ruins of the city of Carthage. This place existed at the time of the Savior’s mortal ministry. If you know something of history, you may have heard of the Punic Wars. This was when Carthage was a rival to Rome. Through several wars, Rome eventually leveled Carthage and built a roman city on it’s ruins. I was able to see some of the older archeological sites of the pre-Roman and also the Roman eras. The city sits on a rise above a beautiful harbor on the southern Mediterranean, along the north coast of Africa. At the pinnacle of the city there has since been erected a large mosque. The area is also dotted with farm fields where neither ancient nor modern buildings exist. At one point I came across a shepherd tending a large sized flock of sheep, straight out of the Bible. While walking through the Roman section I was befriended by a little stray cat. They are everywhere in Tunis. This one just kept following me around until I approached the exit of the archeological site. I waved adieu and he turned back to his ancient home.

At one point I was in the Medina section of Tunis where there are many open markets. There was also a substantial protest rally in support of Palestine. The signs were quite harsh toward Israel, America, and the west in general. Despite the rhetoric, people really didn’t seem to notice me moving through the crowd even though I was obviously a westerner.

I hope we all take the time to notice what is happening around us. We are to be in the world, but not of the world. Sometimes the second part is easier than the first. Hiding our light under a bushel is more comfortable, but not the mandate we have from Jesus Christ.

Not long ago, my wife and I attended the temple with some friends who were receiving their own ordinances including being sealed to each other. It was a nice opportunity to support them and their extended family. While listening in the temple I noticed something I hadn’t before, so I came home to look at a few scriptures. Here they are:

Moses 3:15 And I, the Lord God, took the man, and put him into the Garden of Eden, to dress it, and to keep it.

Abraham 5:11 And the Gods took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden, to dress it and to keep it.

Genesis 2:15 And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

Here is a pattern I hadn’t noticed before. I had imagined the garden as a place where there was no labor. They just gathered food and spent lazy days, learning at some level but limited until the fall. I still think that part is true, except for the ‘lazy’ part. In each of these scriptures, and in the temple, Adam and Eve are commanded to dress and take care of the garden. That sounds like they had to do some work. Although the work would not have been as difficult as after the fall, yet work in tending the garden, maintaining it, was still a part of their existence. God tells them to have joy in it. I had always taken that to mean for them to have joy in simply living in the garden. Now I think that the joy came not just because they partook of the food and peace of the garden, but because they had to do some level of work to fully enjoy the fruit. Without the work the joy would be less, or maybe not at all.

This feels much like our own lives. The greatest growth comes through challenges. For me, our work doesn’t cause blessings, but it is a show of faith that then brings blessings through the Savior. I hope to be willing to do my little portion of work so that I can find joy in living where God has planted me. 
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I jog some days. When I do, generally I have something playing in my ears. This morning, among other things, I listened to one of my regular podcasts. It’s called Nature Podcast and is published by the scientific journal called Nature. This particular episode is titled Audio long read: So you got a null result. Will anyone publish it? The article was written by Max Kozlov and read by the podcast host Benjamin Thompson. What an interesting concept. Most journals, including Nature, are looking for scientific studies with some sort of positive correlation outcome. Something that has a new or novel conclusion. However, experience teaches that most scientific efforts result in a negative correlation, or null outcome, just like any other human endeavor. I’m reminded of how many failures the Edison company had coming up with a working filament for the lightbulb before finally getting one that worked. We now tell ourselves this famous story, but until there was a working light bulb, nobody had any interest in telling the story of all the other versions that didn’t work. Had they never gotten it write would there be any interest in the failure and likely death of the company? Even with success, are there articles that review each failure and speak to why they failed? I believe not. It seems like we just lump all the filament failures into a number to show how many times the experimenters in Edison’s employ failed as a tail about persistence paying off.

Kozlov points out, among other things, how journals are in the business of attracting readers. The article notes how there are some sites in cyber space where these negative results are published, but with few submissions and little readership. As I listened to the long read, I was reminded of several other famous arguments made in the past. For example, Robert Merton famously wrote on scientific norms in an attempt to explain what motivates scientists. Many have since argued that Mertonian norms depict an optimistic list and suggest counter norms that seem more realistic to the authors. One could make the argument that any set of norms ascribed are a function of the subjective preferences of the list constructor.

Another argument that came to my mind was that of the 'Matthew effect', an idea also coined by Robert Merton. This assertion touts that those who get published gain some sort of credibility which then makes their future findings more likely to be published. The idea is from the biblical book of Matthew when the statement in one of the parables asserts to him who have shall be given more, and to him who has not shall be taken away even that which he has. Now, of course, these New Testament ideas were not about scientific credibility, nonetheless Merton makes hay from the idea. Taking it a step further, Margaret Rossiter added a feminist perspective asserting that women in this predicament are even less likely to get published or recognized for their scientific research, dubbing her argument the 'Matilda effect'.

The Nature article shares several unintended consequences of this propensity to only publish positive findings and ignore null outcomes. In the environment of ‘publish or perish’ people who have null research outcomes are likely to drop efforts and not document them. There is a reinforcing relationship between readership levels and publication levels of negative findings. Also, there are likely missed opportunities in that some researchers might find inspiration in null findings to move the research in a different direction. These avenues could be missed if they don’t hear about the research. When such findings are not shared, others may also waste time by conducting the same failed research unawares. As with Nature, it seems to me there ought to be some way to encourage publication and consumption of null-finding research. 

Pausing is something I’d like to mention in this note. Reading in the book of Moroni (within The Book of Mormon) I recently noticed something. In Chapter 2, Jesus gives the apostles power to confer the gift of the Holy Ghost. He tells them that before they enact the ordinance they should, “call on the Father in my name, in mighty prayer; and after ye have done this ye shall have power…”. In Chapter 3, He gives them power to ordain brethren to the priesthood. Verse 3 notes, “After they had prayed unto the Father in the name of Christ…”. In both cases the holders of the priesthood are to pause long enough to pray before they enact the ordinance.

I have often done this myself, and have seen others do it also. I hadn’t thought of it as an instruction or requirement to do so, only a way to bring the Spirit. Yet in both of these chapters, saying a prayer as a precursor to the ordinance is part of the ‘manner of’, meaning part of the expected process. In the first case, Jesus specifically instructs the brethren to do it. In the second case, it is written as one step in the process.

The practice of making time to pause and pray can be applied to anything we face. It could be for seeking guidance and assistance in completing a difficult task like taking a school exam, giving a speech, discussing a family problem, or approaching the bishop for repentance. Taking a prayerful pause can also be taken after getting through something such as any of these same examples. Taking pause can be done during a moment of pondering, or while noticing your blessings. Pausing and praying doesn’t have to be something prescribed. We don’t have to go find a place to formally kneel if it’s not available. We can just take a moment to bow our head, whisper our prayer, and collect our thoughts wherever we are. We can also consciously seek a moment of privacy where kneeling and verbal prayer are possible. In my mind, the latter is preferable.

As an example, in my recent working life I have been a speaker at meetings of a committee of the NPR Board of Directors. It was a part of my job I did almost every month. Some time just before the meeting starts I would close my office door and bow my head to ask for Heavenly Father to inspire me with the right words. I did that even though I already did as part of my normal morning prayer. I still had to do my part to be prepared for the meetings, but He helped me recall the information I needed during the presentation and in response to questions that will come up from board members.

I recommend we each take advantage of the blessing God has given us, the blessing to pause and pray with whatever life brings us. Even when we are in a hurry and have little time, taking a moment will make the outcome better.
​

When our children were small, we had a series of home evenings in which we created a family vision statement. After a few discussions, we came up with this: “Wisdom through knowledge, integrity, and service.” We called it the ‘we kiss’ rule since we arranged it in a way that the first letters of each word formed the acronym WKIS. I’ve written several articles over the years related to this statement. Generally, anything I write to the family eventually ends up on this web site. I always thought we left out something spiritually inclined from the statement. To be fair, in our discussions the word ‘integrity’ was intended to include living a Christ-like life.

Fast forward some decades and in 2022 I had been thinking a lot about it. I listened to people (including family members) who say something like, ‘I’m a spiritual person but not a religious person’. By this they would clarify that organized churches are not for them. I considered how to add something about spirituality to round out the ‘we kiss rule’ with the second ‘s’. I thought also about just saying ‘and the Spirit’ meaning the Holy Ghost since I have been very focused on the need for the influence of the Spirit in our lives to help see our way through the fog of human reason or rhetoric. I finally decided that the Spirit is not our focus, but the Savior is our focus. I updated for myself the statement to be ‘Wisdom through knowledge, integrity, service, and the Savior.’

For those who may argue that being spiritual is good enough and I might have used it for my final ‘s’, here is the way I argued this point to myself. The reason I think I was uneasy with the long-standing earlier version is that while the goal of wisdom is what we agree upon, the mechanisms of knowledge, integrity and service are all three about characteristics I might develop in myself. In other words, the goal is to be achieved through my own efforts. Sadly, one need only to look around and realize readily that dependence solely on oneself only gets you so far. So many people essentially follow that method and yet arrive far short of what could be called wisdom. Just the fact that they all seem to land at a different idea of what is wise or true is evidence enough of variation from a universal. That we’ve even come to use phrases like ‘my truth’ or ‘your truth’ for what we used to understand as one’s perspective regarding truth, not universal truth itself, shows that such an approach is insufficient.

So, Mike, why not then just add spirituality at the end of the phrase? Isn’t that what you want to encourage in people? Well, surely spirituality is important, but it seems to be not enough. I would argue that for the same reasons as above. Organized religion, too, can be a seen as insufficient if one looks at how many different churches exist, even just within the Christian community. Here is where I would argue that we cannot then depend on just adding one more personal characteristic such as spirituality or religiosity since doing so still means we seek wisdom only through developing our own personal characteristics. In that way of looking at things, we are simply deciding which personal characteristics should be on our list of wisdom-getting tools. Since none of us is perfectly equipped with any characteristic we might add to our list, this approach of self-growth simply isn’t, and will never be, enough. That’s why this last letter in the new and improved ‘we kiss’ acronym has to represent something or someone outside of ourselves that does represent a perfect knowledge or understanding. I argue the scriptures point us to Heavenly Father, but through His son Jesus Christ. For Christians (and in truth which I could argue another day), His is the only name given to us that will lead to perfect wisdom, perfect truth. Adding spirituality assumes we can achieve the goal of wisdom alone. I am arguing that if we approach it that way then the amount of wisdom we gain will be severely limited. When we include the Savior, a perfect being can make up for our shortfall and bring us closer to perfect wisdom despite our imperfection.

Sorry if these babblings seem trivial or rambling. For an old, slow guy like me, these thoughts hold weight and are important. I’m sure you will read this and either say to yourself something like ‘no duh Mike’ or will instead judge me off point. I hope someone reading this will at least find it confirming of their own thoughts even it is not new ground.

​I was recently reminiscing about our family reunion last summer. What a joy it is every three years when we get our children and grandchildren to join us in some location. The rotation is designed to give them years for their own family to do something, or to get some time with their in-laws. What a blast it was this time in southern Colorado near Mesa Verde National Park. We saw Native American cliff dwellings and kivas. We enjoyed 4th of July fireworks in one of the local towns. We rode horses, did some whitewater rafting, spent too much money, and rode the old-fashioned steam train from Durango to Silverton. Most of all we hung out together and had fun. One of the highlights turned out to be when we all formed teams with little Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars to conduct a Junkyard Joust. You can see the original version we modeled after on YouTube. We made so much noise cheering our respective teams that the next day the ranch management asked us to keep it down a bit.

Like most families, we are a diverse bunch of nuts. We live on both coasts, the intermountain west, and in Europe. With Michelle and I, our six children, their spouses, significant others and children we totaled 27 people. As with our normal tradition we had t-shirts designed just for us. It makes it easier to not lose each other in a crowd.

One of the things I enjoy most about being out in nature, especially with those I love, is to be reminded of how small we seem in the larger scheme of things. At the same time to be amazed by the fact that Heavenly Father put it all in place especially for us and our progress along the plan of salvation.

I’m reminded of Ether 12:27.

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

The first line says ‘weakness’ not ‘weaknesses’. In other words, as we approach God, or His creations, we understand a little better our relative position, our weakness in comparison. Next, we learn that God gives us this weakness to help us become humble. As we recognize our position, we are naturally less prideful. In fact, we often see our weakness as a sign that there is something wrong with us. We think we are somehow broken. Yet this scripture is very direct. He gives us our weakness. Then the promise. His grace, His power, is sufficient, good enough, strong enough. For what? To lift us from our relative weakness to the blessing of a Celestial sphere. But how? If we humble ourselves and exercise faith, then He strengthens us.

This last point is an important one. Much of my life I viewed becoming stronger as a sort of natural consequence of our own efforts. If we work at something long enough and focused enough, then we would eventually strengthen ourselves in that thing we work at. That’s a very Franklinesque way of thinking. Benjamin Franklin even wrote about how he would put down on paper areas he needed to improve on, and would put his efforts into them one at a time in an effort at self-improvement. There are entire industries these days making a similar argument. There are self-help gurus of every sort, each with their own approach they will happily sell to you for a dollar or two. The scripture, on the other hand, makes it clear that our efforts don’t turn our weak things into strengths. Rather, our efforts are a show of faith, a willingness to do our part. In the end, our efforts of themselves are not what brings strength. Though our efforts take us part of the way, it is the grace of Jesus Christ, His atoning sacrifice, His power, that brings about our ultimate strengthening. He multiplies our efforts.

In a recent Sunday School class, we were discussing the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I noted something different that had escaped me in the past.

Luke 22
41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,
42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.
44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.
45 And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow,
46 And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.

He prayed on his own. In prayer he reconciled his will to that of Heavenly Father. Maybe that is the point of prayer. Not to ask God for what we want, but to come to understand what he wants and then adjust our perspective.

After Jesus bent his will to the Father’s, then God sent an angel to strengthen him. How often do things work out better for us once we choose to accept his will over our own? Then as the agony increased so did the earnestness of the prayer of Jesus. Similarly, sometimes life has to become more challenging for us to find inspiration by praying more earnestly.

Finally, when Jesus turned to his disciples he found them asleep. Do we sometimes feel like there is nobody to help us? Others often seem unwilling or unable to assist in our hour of need. Yet, in this case it says they ‘slept for sorrow’. I’m not completely sure what that means, but perhaps it means they were overwhelmed by all that was happening, and did not have the strength to continue. How often do we assume that when others don’t seem helpful, it means they are not motivated or don’t have sufficient faith? In some cases that may be true, but it is just as likely they have some burdens of their own preventing them from helping to lift our burdens.

The pattern that Jesus experienced on the night he spent in Gethsemane can be a pattern that we ourselves might consider.

​As part of my efforts at a PhD from Virginia Tech (VT), I recently completed a major milestone. They call it the preliminary exam (or prelim), but it comes at the end of all course work, just before starting the dissertation process. I assume the word preliminary means at the start of the dissertation, but it feels more like an uber final to me. The process is challenging. I was given a large list of books and papers to select from. These published works were divided into the four disciplines of the program I’m pursuing. It’s called Science, Technology, and Society (STS). The disciplines include sociology, philosophy, history, and policy. In each of these disciplines, the topics studied all relate in some way to science and technology. For the prelim I was directed to select three of the disciplines, then select 20 books from each of the three, or 60 books. The instructions also allow for a substitution of five papers or book chapters in place of one book. I stuck with just books. Based on my list of 60 books, the committee (four professors) created four questions per each of the three disciplines I selected. I was to select two of the four questions from each area for a total of six questions. I then had two weeks to write a 2000-word essay for each of the six questions. This is the standard prelim process for the STS program at VT.

Writing was certainly a challenge. I was only taking one course per semester as a full-time employee at NPR, little more was possible. That means that some of these works and ideas I hadn’t thought about for as much as three years. Again, this is not unique to me. Most of my fellow students in my classes are in the same boat. In fact, the program I’m in is specifically designed for the working professional. After writing the essays the prelim was not done. The committee took a few weeks to review my writings, then they had two hours to discuss my essays with me in an oral exam. That happened two weeks ago. Thankfully I passed.

One thing I was thankful for. When I turned in my list of readings, they had me include a writeup on what I was likely to research for my dissertation. They created the questions with my dissertation topic in mind. The result was not only were the questions helpful at thinking about topics to address in my future research (including the questions I didn’t use), but also my actual exam essays can also serve as impetus for future chapters. That was their intention, of course.

I have attached both my book list, and the essays that resulted. In their feedback they felt I struggled with the essay on risk. I agree. My perspective on risk often gets caught up in my past experience as a project manager. STS considers risk differently, and so that essay is my weakest. They encouraged me to read again the book on risk by Lupton. I have it on my task list this summer. They also recommended another book titled Carbon Democracy by Timonthy Mitchell. I have since gotten a copy as another part of my summer reading. The point of reading Mitchell is that he approaches a specific topic from one framework. In my essays I tend to review multiple readings and frameworks. I thought that was a preference since the exam is supposed to be about showing I understand the material well enough for them to allow me to move into the ‘all but dissertation’ (ABD) phase of my studies. They made it clear that the preference is for me to argue for one framework over another in each essay. The challenge there is that each essay is only 2000 words and the time to write is short.

The end result, as I mentioned, is I passed and will now begin to form a dissertation proposal. That’s not the research itself, but rather a project plan as to what I’ll be researching and how I’ll approach the work. It will likely take a good three months just to get the proposal written and accepted. Wish me luck. 

​This is a slightly modified version of a story I wrote back in March of 2008 for the print version of the BHP.  Enjoy.

Fairview. It's interesting how a single word can churn up so many thoughts and memories. In a small town in eastern Pennsylvania in the early seventies life was blue collar. Houses were old and small. The people were wonderful and terrible.

Much of my life on Fairview Avenue revolved around the alley behind our house, the open grass lot next to the volunteer fire station just down the block, and Fairview Elementary.

Fairview Elementary was an old box of a building. It was solid red brick. The front doors were at the top of a tall set of concrete steps. The basement was half above and half below ground. It housed the cafeteria and the boiler room. The other two stories were classrooms, hallways and bathrooms. We didn’t get lockers. Each classroom had its own closet where we each had a hook for our coat and shared shelf space for a lunch box if we didn’t eat the cafeteria food that day. Most of the building was surrounded by an asphalt playground. It was on a street corner and the property stretched from Fairview Avenue to the alley. Behind was an empty grass lot across the alley. On one side was a neighbor’s house. In the narrow strip between the school and the house was a bit of rocks and weeds bordered by a tall chain link fence. Poplar Street ran the length of the playground and crossed Fairview Avenue. This is where I learned to fight. It's where I learned to avoid some people. It's where I fell in love the first time. It's also where I learned the nature of a lie.
 
I was ten. During the summer I had my first broken bone. Along with friends, I had been jumping off the banister on the front porch of our house. I'd done it hundreds of times before. Then came the one time when something didn't go the way it had so many times in the past. My arm went down before my legs. When I picked up my arm to look, I saw a perfect Z shape before the swelling started and turned it into a grapefruit. Both the bones in my left forearm had been broken.

The plaster cast went on. It went from my hand all the way above my elbow. Over time the cast filled with signatures of friends and family. It was my first real experience with a hospital. I remember sitting forever with my balloon arm wondering when they were going to do something. I remember being asked if I wanted my name in the paper.

I had never thought of such a thing. My name in the paper. Wow! Looking back, I understand this was just a standard hospital blurb in the weekly paper. In the more modern time of confidentiality and HIPAA this would likely never happen, but back then in small-town America it was business as usual. The idea both flattered and repulsed me. I would be known by all, but what would they say? Keeping my mind busy helped me to lower the crying and whining I had been doing because of the pain. I survived. Six weeks later, after all the itching, the saw came out, the cast came off and the summer went on. Then came fifth grade.

Fifth grade. The same kids were there from fourth grade. Radell Harding was there. She was a typical blond skinny, budding young lady to others. To me she was sighs and blushes. The game of the school day was kick ball. This was no wimpy little kids' kick ball. This was cut-throat and blood-loss-at-every-game kick ball. Bruises and scrapes were common. Glory and shame for the entire school year road on every game. Fights broke out every couple of weeks. It was wonderful for ten-year-old boys. I got my licks in like the rest. I also sometimes took and gave during the occasional spill-over fight that happened in the neighborhood when all the teachers were gone.

One of the best things for a boy to be able to do at Fairview was to work with the Janitor. I was on the crew. It was great because we could get out of class for the work. We also stayed some extra time in the boiler room. When the work was done, we'd sometimes agree that we were still busily working when we were really tossing paper into the boiler and watching it catch fire, or concocting other risky and destructive behaviors. The janitor was crotchety and rebellious like we were, and we all loved it.

Sometime just before Christmas my name came up for another fun assignment, milk detail. As fifth graders, we all got the chance to get out of class for fifteen minutes or so to go get boxes full of milk cartons and distribute them to the classrooms just before milk break. My turn would begin just after the holiday break in January. I was looking forward to the excuse to escape class each day, but not as much as I was looking forward to the holiday break. I had two things in mind for the holiday, sleeping in and snowballs.

At church there was a buzz. It was Sumo Tom, an unusual name for an unusual boy from an unusual family. The Tom family and our family were good friends. Their kids and those of my family were roughly the same age. Sumo was a year younger than me. They had horses and dogs. We had a dog, but that was it. Jesse Tom was the family patriarch. He was Hawaiian, real native Hawaiian. I was told he was some relation to Don Ho. His wife was Ethel. She had fire-like red hair that matched her personality from my childish perspective. I always thought she looked Irish, but I don’t really know. Sometimes our church put on talent shows. She would dance Hawaiian dances. It always seemed odd to me. She just didn’t look the part. All the kids in the family had cool sounding Hawaiian names.

Sumo fit his name. He was large and round shaped like the famous wrestlers. He had a happy disposition, and all us kids at church liked him. It was Sumo that caused the buzz at church. Just as school was getting out for vacation he had suffered appendicitis. He had to go to the hospital and have his appendix removed. We all got to see the scar. The girls were repulsed. We boys were sudden admirers of the cool stitches. Over the break I thought about appendicitis. Why couldn’t I have it too? I could be cool like Sumo when I went back to school. Oh well. Too bad.

After enjoying our week of frozen heaven, it was back to the grind of Fairview Elementary. My home room teacher was Mrs. Stout. I remember the name because just like Sumo, her name matched her person. She was older, probably not too far from retirement, a real seasoned and experienced teacher, a real veteran. We all knew that she knew her business.

“Welcome back class,” said Mrs. Stout. “How was your vacation?” The conversation went on between the instructor and her students. Each kid was taking their turn describing their Christmas presents, or visits with relatives. I kept thinking on what I would say. Then it struck me. Just one person ahead of me the wild thought crept in. I had no real time to actually think it through. I probably wouldn’t have anyway. Then my turn came. “I got my appendix out,” I blurted. An excited rustle passed through the nervous class.

“You did? When?” She asked.

“Just after Christmas,” I returned. I could see the admiration building in the faces of the other kids.

“Hmm, I didn’t notice your name in the paper.”
Bang! You could have knocked me over with a feather as the saying goes. All I could say was a weak, “What?”

“The paper. When someone goes to the hospital, they write something about it in the newspaper,” she said quizzically.

My face must have changed several colors. My heart raced. My mouth got dry. I was searching. Then it came to me. When I had broken my arm I remembered they asked me if I wanted my name in the paper. “Well, I told them not to print it,” I answered.
“Why not,” she continued.

Heart thumped and sweat came again, then a flash. I got it. “Well, I didn’t want anyone to worry about me, so I told them I didn’t want my name in the paper.”

Whew! I’d dodged a very big bullet. How did I manage that? Someone was looking out for me. Later that day came bullet number two. It happened during recess. One of the kids had a brother who earlier had  his appendix out. He told of the stitches and the large scar that resulted. “Hey Mike, show us the stitches!” I hesitated. They weren’t necessarily looking for proof. I wasn’t before the Inquisition, but it felt that way. Of course they were just being like I had been with Sumo. They wanted to see it because it would be cool. My mind again had to race. My heart was thumping. My body heated as I trudged through the sticky swamps in my mind pushing for the answer. The answer as to why I couldn’t show them my stitches. Then it came. Sumo was again my inspiration. I remembered he had to pull off a rather extensive amount of bandages to show us his stitches.

“I can’t. It’s all buried in bandages, and they told me I can’t take them off,” I proclaimed.

A collective sigh from my admirers was followed by my own sigh of relief. They seemed happy with assurances they could see the scar later whenever the doctors let me take off the medical wrappings. I was hopeful that I could push it off long enough that they would all forget about it and not ask later. In this I was right, but as it turns out, I was not out of the quagmire yet.

Milk duty, important words. Mrs. Stout reminded us it was time for the new roster of assignees to take on the responsibility to make sure we all got our daily dose. Ah, that half-pint of cold delicious vitamin D and calcium. She read the names then stopped when she came to mine. “Oh Michael, you can’t do this can you?”

“Why not?” I quizzed.

“Didn’t the doctor tell you no lifting until you were all healed up from your operation?”

“Wadaya mean?!” I’m sure she caught the frustration in me.

“Whenever a person has an operation like yours, they are not allowed to lift heavy items for fear the stitches might rip open when you strain your stomach muscles.”

“But the milk crates aren’t heavy!” I grimaced.

“Nonetheless I can’t let you do it. You’ll have to bring in a note from your parents when it’s OK for you to lift things again. When I get that I’ll try to work you into a future milk detail schedule.”

“How long will that be?!” I protested.

“Well, I’m no doctor,” she replied, “but I’m pretty sure the normal time is six weeks.”

I don’t know how many shades of red my face turned. I was red from fear of being found out. I was red from anger because I couldn’t get out of class for milk detail. I was red because I had no idea how I could convince my mom to write a letter that I was over my nonexistent operation enough to get on a future milk detail.

Six weeks! How could she know that? It couldn’t be that long, could it? Six weeks is forever! My thoughts kept stirring. Then I remembered it was the magical six weeks I had to wear that plaster cast when I broke my arm. Maybe Mrs. Stout was right about that. Dang, why do grownups always have to know so much? The solution was going to take me some time. Six weeks of time to be precise.

So, I needed a note from Mom. Hmmm. This would be difficult. How can I get this done? Well, I was sure she wouldn’t write it. So I guessed I’d just have to write it for her. This would take some real finagling. I needed something that she would write so I could copy it. I needed something that said more or less the same thing as a permission note.  Then it hit me. How many times before had Mom written an excuse for my being out of school? Every time I was… SICK! Of course that was it. I had figured it out.

I picked a day to be sick. I did a great job at being sick. I don’t know if she completely bought it, but she bought it enough to let me stay home. Of course, while my parents were at work I had all day to figure out what my milk-carrying, no-appendix-problem note would say. I was smart enough to have my “sick day” about a week before the six-week banishment was up. Sure enough, the next morning before going to work, Mom wrote my excuse for being home sick the day before. I had about an hour from the time she left until I had to be at school. I spent the whole time feverishly creating my forgery for milk duty. I carefully wrote over and over again using the sick note for my model. After what seemed like about a hundred tries, I got a version I thought sounded like the sick note and looked like her hand writing. I went to school and hid the forgery. A week went by. I handed in the permission slip “Mom” wrote. Mrs. Stout added me to the next rotation of milk duty. I was saved.

This is a totally true story. Well, I suppose a few caveats to that assertion would apply. Remember I was a 10-year-old. So the perspective of exactly how things were came from the limited understanding of someone of such a tender and inexperienced point of view. Adding a sort of questionable-ness to all of this is the fact that decades have come and gone since these events. If my understanding was shaky to begin with, it’s even worse now.

As I have recollected this experience in life over time, I’ve decided that in all likelihood Mrs. Stout understood what was really happening from the very start, or at least early on. I can envision in my mind teachers hanging out in their hallowed lounge where no student can enter. I see them in my mind laughing as they told and retold the story of the kid who pretended to have his appendix removed. In fact, I’ve even gone so far as to imagine my masterful forgery hanging on the lounge bulletin board for a reminder to all the teachers.
​
I did learn something from all this. As it turns out you can’t tell just one lie. Usually lying is an attempt at gaining something when, in reality, by lying you lose freedom. Trust is easy to lose and hard to regain. I wish I could say I never lied again after all that, but I can say it’s been a very long time since I’ve lied. Telling the truth, as it turns out, takes less work. You don’t have to remember what you said to whom. You just have to tell things as you remember them. That’s what I hope I’ve done here. No foolin’.