Recently, I have been talking with a long-time friend of mine. He lives in New Mexico. His life has taken a difficult turn, and he is really struggling with seeing anything positive. In particular he asked me an interesting question. “What have I done to deserve all this?” One can read this question in to opposite ways. The first could be a person honestly willing to admit they have something for which to repent, but they are simply unaware what it is. Such a question can also be understood as an inverse statement. The person may be lashing out with the thought that they have no culpability. The question-statement may simply mean, “I don’t deserve this.”
The conversation brought to my mind two examples in the scriptures that depict each of these sentiments. The negative example comes from The Book of Mormon. Nephi accounts of a typical reaction of his brothers after being admonished:
2 Nephi 4:13
And it came to pass that not many days after his death, Laman and Lemuel and the sons of Ishmael were angry with me because of the admonitions of the Lord.
There are plenty of similar examples all over the scriptures. At the heart of this negative reaction to criticism (justified or not) is pride.
Now think of an opposite example. During the last supper, Jesus told the apostles that one of them would betray him. How did their reaction differ from that of Laman and Lemuel?
Matthew 26:20-22
Now when the even was come, he sat down with the twelve. And as he did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?
This reaction is humble, not prideful. Each considered if under some condition they might become a traitor. Each was willing to recognize his own weakness.
How do we react when confronted with something within ourselves that could use change? Another word for change is repentance. I can only speak for myself. At times I channel my inner Laman and Lemuel. Other times I lean more toward the attitude of the apostles. Maybe in some experiences I’m some of both of these at the same time. Perhaps our efforts to focus on our blessings rather than our challenges helps us to be more humble. I’m not saying we only suffer because of our own guilt. I am saying we sometimes do, and should be willing to at least consider the question… is it I?